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Well to be honest I have been putting off writing a post for the new year. Struggling whether to just jump in to a new year full of excitement and positivity and full of creativity but knowing it would be a facade. Knowing that I’m not ready for the new year…in so many ways I still feel stuck in December. Christmas didn’t go as planned…

I felt ahead of the game this year and we were all excited about our 20 wk ultrasound on Dec. 20th and finding out if we would be adding a sister or brother to our family of four, soon to be five. Plans to make a cake with pink or blue frosting to surprise the grandparents were in place. But that Thurs. didn’t go as we planned. We took the girls out of school to include them in on this fun milestone. Unfortunately, we were shocked with the news that we lost our sweet baby. It all seemed surreal. One minute plans of celebration the next wisked into surgery. Knowing through it all God still had his hand on me. It all happened so fast and I found myself on the way home that night feeling empty and in shock.

The next few days leading up to Christmas were rough but we continued on with most of our plans as we wanted as normal a Christmas as possible for the girls. I was blessed with caring and praying family and friends to boost my spirits at just the right times…not an accident of course, but God’s little bits of grace to ease the way.

The usual breathe of fresh air that comes with a new year looks different this year. I know there will still be moments of mourning our sweet child but have hope because I know this isn’t the end. One day we will meet our baby and in the meantime I know that they are “home” not in my arms but in our Savior’s. I don’t have this figured out or know how long it will hurt so much but I do know who holds my future and I know I can trust Him through the pain.

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So as I continue with this blog in this new year I plan to share all my thoughts on creativity and design and bits and pieces of our family and God’s faithfulness along the way. I pray that in every situation I can rise each new day and give God all the glory!

The featured image is from freeimages.com and the other image is from me (featured image absent from email subscriptions).